Priorities and Peonies

Today, the peonies won

Work? Play?  Accomplish something or fritter away the day? Freedom or responsibility?

My market splurge--unabashedly showy

I don't know why I assumed these things would magically sort themselves out once I retired.  I have been chewing on some of my life's more durable fiber these past days, and weeks.  Now that nobody has claims on my time, I am faced with that problem of finding balance.  I especially wrestle with having "want to" activities become "have to" activities.

For so long in my working life, I put things aside.  I'd do them later, when I had time. Now I have time, but need to better manage it. Or manage my expectations.  What I am discovering is that to be any good at some things, like writing, or photography or playing the piano and the dulcimer, it takes work and dedication.  And time.  If I want to get better at the piano I HAVE to practice.  If I want to be a better writer, I HAVE to write. I am not immune to the disease of craving immediate gratification.  

For 99% of my days, I actually look forward to my time spent at the piano and with my pen in hand.  But there are some days that I want to just fritter away the time, wandering through the streets and alleys, sitting at cafes talking to strangers, or taking a nap.  

I already had flowers; I needed vegetables, not peonies

I seem to be having a run of "those days."  Tuesday, I walked down to the market because I needed vegetables.  I bought peonies.

There's another market tomorrow.  Peonies are here for only a little while.

I wish getting my other priorities aligned were so easy.

My Christmas cactus is growing in her new pot--just like I am doing