Guilt and Ironing

When I do nothing but read, this is how I see myself

It seems that yesterday's blog about guilt has vanished into outer space.  I am sure the fault is mine; I have a cursor that jumps around to unintended places on the screen, opening and closing links that I have not asked for and do not want.  I seem to have inadvertently deleted the blog with the text and photos and when I went to fix it, was left with only a blank page.

So, I will try to remember what I was whining about yesterday.  Oh yes, the guilt.  I got very few material items from my grandmother when she died, but one of the biggest legacies she left to me was guilt at not being productive.  Lazy was the highest and meanest insult anyone could (and still can) level at me.  It would sting less, I think if someone were to call me a murderer.  Maybe that's because I secretly fear that I am lazy?

I was talking about this very issue to my Brookings friend, Diane.  She deals with the Daily Double of Guilt--Lazy and Unclean!!!  Now I don't feel so bad, nor so alone.  You would think that after all these years of working (long hours and multiple jobs), of keeping a household, and in her case, raising a family, we could put these guilt trips behind us.  Honestly, I don't think there are enough analysts' couches in the world to "fix" either one of us when it comes to this "guilt."

So, instead of taking advantage of the rainy, chilly day to stay inside, have a cup of tea and finish the book that I am reading (The Olive Farm) I fretted because I HAD THINGS TO DO!!!!  What--the article I wanted to mail to someone couldn't wait one more day?  And as Diane, oh so reasonably,  pointed out to me, reading a book is a worthwhile endeavor.  Isn't it?

I made up for it today--I used my new 9.99 Euro iron to press the wrinkles out of my freshly laundered linens. I am totally caught up with laundry and ready for the next round of visitors and the floors are mopped.  There is the little matter of defrosting the freezer--we'll see how this afternoon shapes up.   

There's an antiques show--a big one--in Narbonne this weekend.  Count me there, with my camera at the ready.  So I had better get cracking and get my chores done so I can go and enjoy it, guilt-free!!!